When I change my gaze, I transform my own reality – María Martínez Calderón

I would like to share with you the story of a friend who I will call Andrea to keep her anonymous:

“Andrea came to see me one day very affected. She told me that her boyfriend Raoul had suffered a stroke right after making love. When she took the initiative to call the ER for an ambulance, he insisted her to wait until he took a shower. She helped him get to the shower and only after she did call 911.

Once in the hospital and while she was waiting for the doctors to give her an answer on how Raoul was evolving, Andrea was sharing a waiting room with his relatives, including a nurse friend of the family.

While there, they both began to chat. They liked each other instantly

At one point in the conversation one of them asked:

– How do you know Raoul?

– I’m his fiancée.

To which the other replied:

– Well, me too.

This is how Andrea discovered Raoul’s deception.

The next day Andrea came to see me. She needed to understand and to find some answers.

I asked her some questions related to family constellations, to be able to understand the origin that had caused this situation.

At one point I asked her about her father.

She told me that her father had had a mistress during almost all his married life; she was his secretary at the office.

Everyone in the family was aware of her father’s love affair. As you can imagine, Andrea’s mother could not bear it, although she coped with the situation, until one fine day, when they kids were older, when she finally broke out and threw him out of the house.

When this happened he went to live with the secretary. This events generated a great commotion among Andrea’s brothers and sisters, who divided and positioned themselves: two next to her father and two next to her mother, among the latter Andrea.

Years went by until one day one of her brothers called her to inform her that her father had had a stroke while he was taking a shower. Her father passed away in the hospital.

Since then, Andrea has been feeling great guilt, always with a magical thought in where she might have saved her father in the shower if she hadn’t been mad at him.

The unconscious does not understand anything about what is real or symbolic, and life gave Andrea the possibility to save a man from a stroke in the shower.

Together we worked on reconciling the constellations, thanking Raoul for his services, as she was able to save him on behalf of her father, and this allowed to free from guilt her unconscious.

We also can mention that Andrea was able to recognize her father’s mistress as the person the father loved and also to understand that surely her father did not leave home before to take care of his family, since strokes are usually associated with concerns about what may happen to the family”.

My name is María Martínez Calderón, and I’m therapist and facilitator of Family Constellations.

In my book Manual para aprender a amar(te), que hará que otros te amen (available on Amazon) I tell this and other love stories and the keys to help you to have a stable relationship.

I have my own training and therapy center in Barcelona Espai Dodecaedre, an online academy of holistic therapies Mens Sana Formación and I travel to Ibiza once a month to carry out workshops and Family Constellation Training.

This training is a journey through the most important figures in your life, those that make up your family system, with the intention of putting order and understanding the origin of the blockages that you may have in your life, in order to heal and flow firm, loving and calmly. Without complaints. Simply understanding that life is the way it is and that lived experiences make you stronger.

Do you dare to try it?


María Martínez Calderón
Annual training in Family Constellations


Reserve your constellation or sign up:
622 345 889


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