Growing from a child to an adult – Vanessa Bueno

I gave up my power for so long. I allowed myself to be manipulated, I cancelled myself and during that process, I began to feel useless, devalued, incapable, a small thing. Have you ever felt like this?

When we lose our power, or since we were children we have submitted it to the elders above us (mother and father), we believe that it is the only thing that can be done, that this is normal, that they the ones in command. We think that they know what is best for us and that it is better for them to be in charge, because in addition to being more comfortable, they often make us believe that they know what is better for us better than we do ourselves.

While we are kids, this is normal, it is our «modus operandis» and this usually seems to be good to us, buy this works only for a while, because there is a moment when our personality begins to search and fight to find who we really are and we start to realize that the best for ourselves is to follow what we feel.

However, many times, and without being conscious of it, our parents hold power over us when we are adults, either because we have not taken it from them or because we have given it to them, and this prevents us from growing.

I find myself in consultation with many, many adults who really vibrate in the energy of a child. Adults who feel insecure without a partner, or who do not feel capable of starting a business or the activity that they are passionate about, people who do not know how to manage themselves financially well… They have given power to the others and do not know how to do it or how to recover it, usually because of fear.

Many moms and dads become our bosses or our symbolic partners when we give them power over our issues. Both parties get something out of this kind of situation, it’s like an unconscious agreement. Sometimes this is done out of comfort or out of laziness. Sometimes, because parents do not want to release their children, for fear of being alone or to avoid facing their reality as a couple.

When you are not emotionally or financially independent and depend on others, you are not free to decide, and you cannot act from your center to open yourself to the infinite possibilities that life has for you.

We have to start working on our unconscious fears, agreements, beliefs and programs that we still carry from the past, in order to truly be the adult we have to be, to carry out our purpose. As long as we do not take responsibility for what is our concern putting ourselves in first place, others will always take control of us and we will feel small and incapable. It is like wearing chains that in part we want to wear. Partly it is comfortable, because we do not have to go to the adult world, and if something goes wrong, it will never be our fault. However, if we act like this we are not open to abundance or life and cannot nurture our relationships.

It is very important to start setting limits and to be sovereign of yourself. Sometimes you have to say no, to put a fist on the table and to cut with what is comfortable and what it is easy. You have to start doing things without asking anyone, following your inner voice and intuition to be true to who you really are and want. In this way you make it clear that you can no longer be manipulated or controlled, and that you deserve respect, to be taken into account, to be seen and heard. To reach these goals, first you have to do it for yourself, you have to be present for you and to take responsibility on the part of you that is creating this situation. You should leave the comfort of the child and you should start taking small steps towards adult life with all your power, even if you are afraid. This will allow you to be a more complete, empowered and self-confident human being and create the reality that you really deserve.

If you do not know how to do it, allow me to help you during your process. Together we can find what unconscious programs may be preventing you from doing it, both energetically and emotionally.

With love,


Vanessa Bueno

 626 762 162
IG perseide_eehealing

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