I could have written anything else but I can’t pretend that I’m not where I am and without believing that we’re all in the same place. Trying to be honest with myself, I can only tell how I feel right now in relation to what is happening on a collective level.
Maybe it is due to the fact that on a personal level I feel in a moderate harmony that gives me wings to open myself to the greater scenario and to include it within my present experience.
There we go;
It was the day of my last birthday, I was feeling wrapped in the appreciation and warmth that came both from my close environment and from that one from a greater geographical distance, which is just as close as the first one. I felt open, grateful, having the purpose to receive.
That was my state when I heard the news of a new open conflict. Yes, it was last February 24. It hit me unexpectedly, I stayed with what was moving inside myself. I silenced my external gaze and directed it to my internal space, towards those sensations I was feeling in my body, those thoughts that were coming, feelings, behaviours that wanted to start. I looked to myself.
This is my usual practice, I always try to accompany me the best I can. To be present for what is moving.
I am currently training in the Hakomi method, creating space for assisted self-study, with other colleagues or a therapist, what makes me train this skill more deeply. I have this so incorporated that it comes naturally.
This is how I saw an especially significant idea, it popped into my mind in the form of a question: Since I was born, have I ever lived in a world without armed or unarmed conflicts? We know the answer…
After that question, an intense internal reaction accompanied by another very sonorous question full of anger: For how long?
For how long are we going to have this collective inability to manage that historical collective trauma wound that is lost in the memory of «time»?
That question triggered a deep sadness and brought an invitation to discouragement.
Observing this fact, I realized that none of that is present and that in our present there are an infinity of new resources in each one of us, individual and collective. We have a real possibility of developing ourselves in new ways. There are higher levels of consciousness, although they are not enough yet, they are much more than there were in the past. Today we can promote from our individuality on a more regulated state:
- The creation of connections.
- The creation of security spaces.
- To ask for help without «letting go one from each other».
- To embrace what is activated while being present feeling sensations in those spaces of security.
- To process information from a regulated state in our nervous system so as not to react and instead, being able to respond.
- To contribute with whatever we can and to help with those basic issues for survival.
- To be able to include everyone involved in conflicts, without falling into the exclusion of any of them in favour to others. In these kind of situations no one wins, we all lose.
All of this would be an alternative to our first response, which could have been to look away, being unable to manage everything that moves in us, numb. It is an adapted response of our nervous systems that want to protect us from the immense, as we feel small in such a big matter and we are unable to manage it.
And… maybe there is another way?
That way in which while we continue with our daily challenges, we can feel that we are contributing with something that, no matter how small, may be something significant in the network of life we belong.
I have looked at myself, I have asked myself and I have activated everything in my power, including material aid adjusted to my possibilities. With all who are participating in “2022 Program for a Conscious Life” that I facilitate, we have agreed on a reminder message for every night. During sleep, when leaving the biological vehicle, our dimensional doubles, consists in «erasing all the potential promoters of division and conflict that we have generated with our mind, our words and actions consciously or unconsciously», updating only with the best potentials for everyone.
You might want to join us, every night. There is a possible future, the one that we now co-create, the one about new Trauma Reprocessing Ministries. I can SEE it.
Here we are. Dreaming of another option.
Rocío Palacios
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